Beta Himesh

Ladies of gentlemen and gentlemen on ladies. The latest sensation in the world of tragedy, tyranny, suffocation and humiliation -- BETA HIMESH (BH).

The picture is worth more than a million words but i will try my level best to give a brief intro to the most happening guy in the circuit The BH.

The guy is a pro man ! he has been there on the circuit of sensational humiliation for along time but shot to fame lately after an enlightening hiking to Lonavala.

Ladies please control your feelings the guy is available only to handsome men . The huge Gay following that he attracts can be understood only by seeing his style. The short black beard , the classes, the cap and the ability to almost eat the mic , this guys is hotter than Himesh himself.

A person with immense hair all over his body and a look that baffles the best of the best in the world of paleontology, BH has demonstrated that with courage, enthusiasm, and passion any thing can sing.

He is the one guys , look out for him on papers he is sure to make it big.

Salutations to Beta Himesh.

Hallowed be thy name! RIP Sachin (Ka)poor

By Special Correspondent

We from the BS daily are very very sorry to inform all our (idiotic) readers that the architect (and the longest link) of Modern BS Shri Shri Shri (1008) Sachin (ji) baba is no more.

Sachin (Ka) poor was found by our special correspondent "Muski" in his appartment in the late hours of the night. The reson for this sudden demise is yet to be known. As per the investigating officer the reason will come to light only after DNA test of his body .

Preliminary investigations have revealed that there was no forced entry in the appartment ( that implies that J.P and vijay, of Shrivastav ji ki dukan , are suspects as he used to call them offen to see movies. They also had the duplicate keys to the house).

Grand Old man of BS ( oldest and only surviving species from the Noha's arc) Shri Shashank Pandey was the first one to give condolences. He said that this a great loss to the nation. Shri Shashank Pandey feels this as a bias on the part of God for he has atempted sucide 500 times by drowning him self in the pool of shit but has survived without food and water in this pool of sewage for ages, and shri Sachin kapoor is gone so soon.

We will like all our readers who would like to give condolences to please contact the BS members in person and drink to forget this loss. The BS News will like to give full credit to the special correspondent (under cover in under wears) Mr "Muskki" aka Mr Nitesh for bringing this news first.

"Hallowed be thy name O! Sachin Kapoor"

I like AIDS

Hi 'bhailog'
Happy AIDS they ! have u all wished ANKITA cause today is her birthday . yes u people with short negligible memory today is ANKI's 105th birthday .
AIDS - ANKITA IMMUNO DEFICIENCY SYNDROME
today is the great day when we all share our love and gratitude towards ANKITA ; She has been a part of our life for some time now , ergo we are all HIV positive . Today we celebrate for this great soul who helped bring world population under control. She has presence in all countried of the world now , from far east to due south.In fact she has maximum presence here in INDIA . She first started with the evolution of our species but came into lime light only a few centuries back.
The very feeling of u being in her divine company takes some time to perculate in you ( some 10 yrs ). once in u she takes carefull and tedious path of infecting u r mind and soul. she slowly captures u all over and u have only one disire left to come face to face with the reality that u have fallen for her.eventually u have enough courage to leave this mortal world and be the part of eternity . there u finally thank her to help to leave this mortal , of no good world and be one with her.
Her spread is also very very (how do i put it nicely) kamasutical at the same time to fulfill her job she can take vampire route too. she can spread by simple blood trasfusion or syrienges.
But of late we humble species of ignorant people have realised the very very helpful role played by her in the control of our population explosion. yes she has helped us avoid the great demograpic explosion .
O great ANKITA , we salute u on this first day of december.
u r humble servant PP

$$ M0n0p0ly $$

Help our Jungle is being ruined , the primates of My place are evolving fast . I knew evolution is bound to happen but at "exponential pace" ! NOOOOO ! .

Last night the den was crowded there was huss huss voices and i entered the DEN like a lion . As soon i entered voices went silent and i saw a box , brown box with some pictorial depiction of some furturistic character , I saw Monopoly. As my primates showed exceptional interest in learning acts of cold blooded fanancial murders I sat down to preach them. My coin was the Hat , a hat of wisdom , the hat that made Mad Hatter famous .

As i started to enlighten those damned souls , I felt nothing , no joy , no sorrow , no estascy , no feelings . My body went numb . with my raw Brain Power i elevated my self in space , highter that those mortals. As i finished there was a strange aura in the den . Then I let the dice roll.
Cause my mental level stands much much higher that those mortals i quickly aquired property , with half the board in my possesion the mere mortals were left with nothing but to request me to forgo there rent . But Monopoly is a game of ruthlessness and ego , u must for get u r family and friend . I drove them into Mortargage . Primate verma went so desparate that he was caught stealing from Bank reserve , Court orderd him "Hingo lala untill death" , that was the end of him . Next Primate harish sold every thing he had for the sake of respectable defeat. It was Primate Ashish who stood the grounds long enough but No one can stand the PP jauggernaut. Eventually I squashed Ashish Like a cockroach.

Folks i believe no matter how disgraceful , disgusting , smelly , incompetent animals they might had been the do deserve 2 min silence .

we observe silence now !!!

RIP !
Primate Verma
RIP !
Primate Harish
RIP !
Primate Ashish

Sailing !!!!!

eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

I went sailing this weekend . Yes folks i with my room(pri)mates went
sailing this weekend. The idea happened to come from Primate Verma.
This Hariyanavi species of primates (found near dhaba's) booked the
boat and then broke the news to me and Primate Harish ( genesis of newhybrid species , 1/3 guju 1/3 mallu 1/3 bengali) . This happened on Friday .

On saturday Primate Verma woke up around 5 am and i woke up around 5:15
am . around 5:15 primate Verma ( what happens to be a rare insight into
the pshycological behavior ) woke primate Harish ( a colossal feat
considering that this primate would rather sleep than to go to his own
marraige) . with me getting ready in record time followed by primate
Verma , Primate Harry again showed exceptional skills when he just
managed to complete his "shit" .

Around 6:15 am we left the Zoo and headed towards the impregnable
jungle called MUMBAI. Fighting all odds , hopping on trains and
managing life threatning collisions with primates of mumbai local
staion , me and my 2 endangered species made it to Victoria Terminal.
On reaching the jetty right next to Hotel Taj , our primate Harish got
bitten by the Bradallerina bud . I had to tighten my grip on him and
get him onboard a "Dingy" , the first mate then stirred us to My pirate
ship called "ALKA". Once onboard I immediately took control and started
our adventure trip. In a rare kind of experiment I handed the rudder to
Primate Verma as we sailed past Vijay Mallaya's cruise liner, Navy
ships , Cargo ships , light houses and yes we saw AsterRock and
MiddleLAnd ( they are navy guns installations in the sea).

What actually made the sail memorable is the uniqueness of sea. nothing
is staganant. You are rocked, the breeze take to in open sea and once
in open sea it tries to drown ya ( it gets faster and faster). Once the
land is left behind sence of joy is suppressed by sence of being the
one , now u are alone , one i this world . There is no life forms
around ya , u are the most unique creature in fact the only creature on
board the innocence. That moment of lonelyness mixed with feeling of
being the chosen one is beyond my caliber to express in words.

After 2 hrs and 30 mins on board a sail ship we headed back to land ,
sight of which enthrawled my two primates. back on solid ground they
felt ultimate sense or relief. we now went to Kyani hotel , there in VT
since 1930 with the same ambience as it once started with. After having
breakfast there we parted ways with Pirmate Verma heading for charm
classes (German Classes, he is a certified german student) while
Primate Harish went for cyber cafe then to his friends jungle . I just
walked along the long road to station , contemplating what is next in
line for me , perhaps Paragliding !

A humble appeal to the fellow citizens

Petition to the Goverment of india and the Honourable High Court of MUMBAI.

Fellow citizens , by the order of Hon, High Court of Mumbai the closure of DANCE BARS in Maharashtra took place last yr (Ironically just before we landed up in this place ,what bad luck). Cause of this ruling hundreds of able ladies of india were left with no means to support there families.Comarade's think of those fine ladies who are now jobless all because of this iron fisted ruling . These dance bars , once the very life of mumbai are a dying legacy of the great indian heritage . During the times of nawab's , dance and music enjoyed ample patronage by the rich and the poor alike . It was during these golden period that "Kotha's" of banasras, allahabad, and Luckhnow flurished and contibuted towards women empowerment ,women liberation and bringing indian art forms (music, dance) on world stage .

Rudiments of indian dance and music are embedded in our souls , Khajuraho stands as an excellent example of our rich heritage . The cave arts of Ellora enlighten us that music and dance are integeral parts of Indian civilisation. As we moved in the light of the new world order , with the virus of westernisation taking over the world ,music and dance are the only eternal remains of true culture of INDIA. Dance bars have kept the legacy of incredible india alive . they have transformend what was a dying art into a trend all rich and poor enjoy alike .
In a poor country like ours , where service sector contributes 56% of GDP , where service sector had provided india with the catapult to launch it on the world stage , how can we even think of curbing the very pillers of this emerging arm of INDIAN eco? let me quote an instance , I am presently working with two co workers of mine who hail from MEXICO, i ask them do ya know mahatma ? a respectful 'no' they replied, next i asked you seen taj mahal ? again they say no but they did want to see it ( which they did this weekend ) . During the entire length of conversation frequently mared by spanish misunderstandings they did ask one only one question . Where can i find a nice dance Bars where we can see the real beauty of india ? I felt so ashamed at that moment of time when i had to enlighten them of the shameful laws of india created by some muscleheads seated an the helm of administration.

Closure of Dance bars in not only an attack directed towards the poor families of those girls but also towards each and ever one of us . We the citizen of india are empowered by the very constitution of India to persue any religion we desire . Let us tell this goverment to back off before it is too late , let it be known that we the people of india stand united for the poor families of the DANCE BAR "BALLAYE" . Let it be known that as a responsible citizen of india we are there to bring a new order and expose the hippocratic face of this autocratic, authorotative and theocratic goverment.

JAI HIND!!

I am going MAD

The lady i wrote about yesterday is mad Today ! yes !! i am successful
. The days pass and i am still on the same ground thinking that i too
will pass some time with the sun on the otherside . How great it would
had been I was like the sun , cloudy - no office , winters rise at u r
own intersests (i may be out at 6 i may be out at 10) , Foggy days I am
there but i am not , evenings i am gone my shadow remains(wow!).
Imagination is one vivid part of life that remains unaltered throughout
the life , although the dreams change but the image is stagnant , we
are always as vibrant as ever in out dreams , we are the Main
protagonists, we are the master of puppets ( really ,Shakesphere said
all worlds a stage and we are mare actors doing out part, in dreams we
are directors, sript writer and actors all together). The best dreams
we forget ( ha all good things are perishable) and all bad dreams
recur. we may call 'de jawo '(spelling are incorrect) but these are
real good "Pratibimb" of our real life dreams.
U know why I wrote all that crap , cause i am dreaming , today I am
fantacising with the idea of me being a writer or me being a demogouge.
what if i really do become a writer in next part of my life ? what is i
am actually famous ? Gosh ! guys take my autograph now later i will
charging for it .

I will be here !

Mummy !
Cat in on 19th , i.e sunday , last test i got a percentile of 50 , great na , i got 2 in english ( i bet this will make few of my friends really happy), i losing this yr too . So this is technically my second attempt on cat and factually 3 , i have applied for cat trice but could not give (rather take) the test last yr cause of the euphoric image of my life painted by my great organisation . But guys i should not say anything to my company cause this company took a jack ass like me ( i am a constant failure in life , academic and other wise, think of it -- I never won a medal , shield , certificate of appreciation in my entire life !)
When we used to go to peoples (hope the usage is correct) places we used to see self full of medals photo's etc (and yes great cases of "Peoples" children flairing , excelling in all fields of life ), so when they (people) used to to come to our place no medal , no certificate in fact no Photo with winners either . Now no one happened to see such nerds in life so my dad once thought for issuing tickets so that he can alteast get some money (wasted) on us by charging people to see us (on by the was US i mean ME ME ME alone , i will dare not insult my sister , she is good ambidexterous -- she can write with both hands simulateously --- , she can draw very well and her hand writing is superb ).
Now another interesting fact , My dad taught 2 of his cousins and both are IAS today , he taught me too , look what i am ! ( well u guys better not look , i am no great looking chap either)
well i have deviated a lot from the heading , well i want to write about my great feats i achieved in MOCK CAT 2006. i have not been able to clear my MATHS cut off even once , just touch and go is the best i have ever done in life , HINGLISH i was able to clear usually now even that has slipped past my reach so dude i am close to nothing now , ah yes the great section of DI was a really favourite of mine , it is one mirage i happen to get in and out off , it turns in reality and then in the very next test it is a dream .(sorry for the stupid quotes , comparisions and analogies i draw i happen to this that i am a great critic but seriously i am a big time loser).
So i will like to say to all the cat veterans , constant cat repeaters " AREY BHAI KOI KUMBH KA MELLA THODI HAI JO 12 SAAL MEI EK BAAR AYE ! AGLE SAAL PHIR AYEGA !"
bhaiyo this is one area of my dark dismissal life that has sucked the max out of my life , i happened to skip movies ( i sawe one movie in 4 months and i believe next will ne in next life )in fact i did nothing , i want to get a bike but my salary is not supportive .
The only great thing i ever did in these last couple on months is that i happen to read a lot of novels , but the best happened to be "MOTORCYLCE DIARIES", now that is the life i want free from trouble . I m fact we did live like wandrers once , we tree guys once just left the college with money in pockets and went to diff places in UTTARANCHAL . had food only in mourning and at nights so that we could save enough for fare and lodging and we saw a great part of UTTARANCHAL , then we went broke and came back to college dressed like vagabonds with a police cap .that cap i bought enroute happened to got us off trouble twice , people thought that we were cops and respect followed .
Now there is this friend of mine UNTY(kita) (well her name is ankita buy she is very old , may be from paleolithic age). I once saw a childhood photo of her she was playing with a pet DIANOSAURUS (or was it me?, I am a rare kind!). She is a gem of a person i know always ready to tell me all my short comings, she never even has to put any effort in thinking about that it just comes to her naturally - she knows all my faults and can provide indepth analysis. The great part of the chat that i happened to have with her every day from the company messenger is that the I am always the topic, usually girls like to be commented about them but here the story flips 180 deg , i am the star attraction and she is the verbose speaker of all my greatness. During our training I tried to teach her a lot ( i am a teacher, demogogue) but she never ever learned a word . till date i try to teach her the essence of life "work is a mirage" "SAB MOH MAYA HAI" but she is a stubborn fool for her work is god . THINK she commutes 2 hrs in mourning 2 hr in evening to come to office work ( kick my ass) and earn peanuts ( GOD help her ), how can a person tourture herself soo much ? Enigma she will remain for me !
well thats it for the day , don't smash ur monitors please curse me instead u will feel much better.
Regards